I'm in still Utah. WHY???? I think one time I said that SLC was only 10% mormon because I heard that somewhere. Well that's total bullshit, I'm pretty sure. Also, before I moved here, I had nothing at all against Mormons. Now I think they're bullshit. Well, ok, I'm generalizing. Not all of them are bad. There are a bunch of really cool ones, kind of.
Wait, so, why am I still here?
I don't have an answer to that. I like my job a lot (shout out to JD). I have a few good friends. Uhhhhh. Uhhh....ummmm...that's all I got. But I guess having a job that I like is pretty important, right? I mean, I've never really had that before.
It is the middle of the summer right now and it is really hot. I want to beat the summer heat, just like a woman.
I saw the movie Wanted today. I don't have anything to say about it. Except...Morgan Freeman...gay or not gay? Discuss and keep an open mind about this one. Because, the obvious answer is not gay but how well do you know Morgan Freeman?? Let's explore all of our options .
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Friday, November 9, 2007
update for Zoe
I am only doing this for Zoe.
I'm not INTENTIONALLY abandoning this blog.
I honestly just don't have anything interesting or funny to write about.
NOT!!!!
Something hilarious happened to me a couple weeks ago.
I came home from work one day and my roommate was like, "Uh, go look in the bathroom." And I did. And it was flooded. With poop water. There was poop in the toilet. And it was flowing out onto the floor. Totally disgusting. Then we found that the water from the floor of the bathroom was seeping through the wall and into Ashley's room. Ashley is my roommate, and the first to witness the bathroom incident. So, her carpet was totally wet from poopy water. Ashley was like, "It wasn't me." And I was like, "It wasn't me." And she was like, "It wasn't Carissa. It must have been Katie." So, Ashley called our landlord, who is a total idiot/dirtbag/loser/doofus-brain. Then she was all..."Hey I gotta go to a study group so you're going to have to deal with Mike (the landlord)" and I was like, "Aww...aw brah! Brah!" But I'm a pushover so I was like, ok whatever. Then Mike came over and he fixed the toilet and it took him like 10 hours. Then he came out and he was like, "Now that that's done maybe you can give me a backrub" and I was like, "Excuse me?". And he was like, "Some background. Maybe you can give me some background." I don't know if I misheard him at first or if he really is that douchey. He probably really is that douchey. So I was like, "I don't have any background. I just came home and the bathroom was like that. I don't know anymore than you do." And then he proceeded to make me use MY towels to clean up the bathroom floor and to help him rip up all the carpet in ashley's room, carry bricks in from outside to prop it up, and use my fan to blow on it all night. Not only this but he had his, like, 4 year old daughter helping us with all of this too. He had her help with the fixing of the poopy toilet also. That seems like child abuse to me. Anyway, then Katie came home and she was like, "WTF?!?!?!?" except she would never actually say that because she's Mormon. But, she said that she didn't do it either. Then Mike was like, "Well, someone just isn't fessin' up to this! You guys try to find out who it is! I know it's a hard thing to admit to but maybe some people have just grown up in brand new houses and never had to use plungers so they just didn't know what to do." Then he left and we were like...OMG. What a douche. Then, everyone got home and we were all like, omg what happened. And I told them the story about mike and his...mikeness. Then I remembered something. One of our upstairs roommates has a new fiancee (sp?) named Dan. A couple of the other upstairs girls have been telling me stories recently about how several times in the past couple of weeks, they have had to plunge the toilet upstairs because of Dan. Which is totally gross. Not only does he plug the upstairs toilet up and get poop all over it, but he reads THEIR BOOKS on the toilet!! Ew! So, I remembered this. And I told the downstairs girls (I live in the basement with 3 other girls and there are 3 girls upstairs) and we decided that Brittany probably got onto Dan for the clogging of the upstairs toilet, so he came downstairs, clogged OUR toilet, tried to flush it several times, didn't plunge, and left the scene of the crime. Totally gross. So, then, earlier this week, Ashley called our landlord and she was like, "My room smells musty and it's gross. I want some rent deducted from my account." And he was like, "No. It's not my fault that you girls don't know how to use a plunger."
My landlord, Mike. Gay or not gay?
I actually say not gay. He's just too douchey to be gay. He's probably asexual. My OTHER landlord, Larry, though. Or property manager or whatever he is. That is another story. He is so gay.
I'm not INTENTIONALLY abandoning this blog.
I honestly just don't have anything interesting or funny to write about.
NOT!!!!
Something hilarious happened to me a couple weeks ago.
I came home from work one day and my roommate was like, "Uh, go look in the bathroom." And I did. And it was flooded. With poop water. There was poop in the toilet. And it was flowing out onto the floor. Totally disgusting. Then we found that the water from the floor of the bathroom was seeping through the wall and into Ashley's room. Ashley is my roommate, and the first to witness the bathroom incident. So, her carpet was totally wet from poopy water. Ashley was like, "It wasn't me." And I was like, "It wasn't me." And she was like, "It wasn't Carissa. It must have been Katie." So, Ashley called our landlord, who is a total idiot/dirtbag/loser/doofus-brain. Then she was all..."Hey I gotta go to a study group so you're going to have to deal with Mike (the landlord)" and I was like, "Aww...aw brah! Brah!" But I'm a pushover so I was like, ok whatever. Then Mike came over and he fixed the toilet and it took him like 10 hours. Then he came out and he was like, "Now that that's done maybe you can give me a backrub" and I was like, "Excuse me?". And he was like, "Some background. Maybe you can give me some background." I don't know if I misheard him at first or if he really is that douchey. He probably really is that douchey. So I was like, "I don't have any background. I just came home and the bathroom was like that. I don't know anymore than you do." And then he proceeded to make me use MY towels to clean up the bathroom floor and to help him rip up all the carpet in ashley's room, carry bricks in from outside to prop it up, and use my fan to blow on it all night. Not only this but he had his, like, 4 year old daughter helping us with all of this too. He had her help with the fixing of the poopy toilet also. That seems like child abuse to me. Anyway, then Katie came home and she was like, "WTF?!?!?!?" except she would never actually say that because she's Mormon. But, she said that she didn't do it either. Then Mike was like, "Well, someone just isn't fessin' up to this! You guys try to find out who it is! I know it's a hard thing to admit to but maybe some people have just grown up in brand new houses and never had to use plungers so they just didn't know what to do." Then he left and we were like...OMG. What a douche. Then, everyone got home and we were all like, omg what happened. And I told them the story about mike and his...mikeness. Then I remembered something. One of our upstairs roommates has a new fiancee (sp?) named Dan. A couple of the other upstairs girls have been telling me stories recently about how several times in the past couple of weeks, they have had to plunge the toilet upstairs because of Dan. Which is totally gross. Not only does he plug the upstairs toilet up and get poop all over it, but he reads THEIR BOOKS on the toilet!! Ew! So, I remembered this. And I told the downstairs girls (I live in the basement with 3 other girls and there are 3 girls upstairs) and we decided that Brittany probably got onto Dan for the clogging of the upstairs toilet, so he came downstairs, clogged OUR toilet, tried to flush it several times, didn't plunge, and left the scene of the crime. Totally gross. So, then, earlier this week, Ashley called our landlord and she was like, "My room smells musty and it's gross. I want some rent deducted from my account." And he was like, "No. It's not my fault that you girls don't know how to use a plunger."
My landlord, Mike. Gay or not gay?
I actually say not gay. He's just too douchey to be gay. He's probably asexual. My OTHER landlord, Larry, though. Or property manager or whatever he is. That is another story. He is so gay.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Rehab part Two and the Reasons that Canada Rocks
Top 10 Reasons why Canadians are Happier than Americans
I'm moving to Canada. After I get out of rehab. By the way, I'm going to rehab. Again. That is for those of you who I don't call. If you didn't receive a call from me (and if I don't call you before Wednesday morning then it's not going to happen), it means that I don't love you.
Just kidding. I do love you. I probably just ran out of time because I insist on putting everything off to the last minute. Always. Don't be offended.
Also, you should know that I'm only going to rehab to further my celebrity. It's chic.
I'll be on hiatus for 3 months. I MIGHT get internet access on weekends at some point. But I'm not sure. And it might only be for email. We'll see.
- Prius Taxi Cabs
- Free Health Care
- Tegan and Sara. Also, Ryan Gosling.
- Street names like "Otter Point" and "Timberdoodle Lane" are common place.
- Prius Taxi Cabs
- Prius Taxi Cabs
- Prius Taxi Cabs
- Prius Taxi Cabs
- Prius Taxi Cabs
- PRIUS TAXI CABS!!
I'm moving to Canada. After I get out of rehab. By the way, I'm going to rehab. Again. That is for those of you who I don't call. If you didn't receive a call from me (and if I don't call you before Wednesday morning then it's not going to happen), it means that I don't love you.
Just kidding. I do love you. I probably just ran out of time because I insist on putting everything off to the last minute. Always. Don't be offended.
Also, you should know that I'm only going to rehab to further my celebrity. It's chic.
I'll be on hiatus for 3 months. I MIGHT get internet access on weekends at some point. But I'm not sure. And it might only be for email. We'll see.
Friday, March 30, 2007
First Hate Mail
So, yesterday, I was trying to come up with some elaborate scheme on how to p0wn these girls. But, I don't think I could really do anything better than to just let you all read the myspace message they sent me. First, if you want to check out the video and comment that sparked this message...ladies and gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A.
And Exhibit B...
"OMG, i think i've just seen the funniest thing in my life. you dissing us on your shitty journal. fucking first off, "omg i cant stand that fake HOUSTON accent" you MUST be joking me? we're british and we wouldn't degrade ourselves to talk like you people. there you were rambling on about how we're on 'your territory', hmm well shame i DONT live in that shithole you call home, because i would piss on your territory and you wouldnt stop me.
then i decided to see if you even had a video like us, did you? NO. why bitch about something you cant do yourself anyway? another thing, we dont work as cops or even work with animals so im NOT sorry we 'stole' your idea maybe you should of acted quicker, or maybe we're just better than you cause we had the imagination to actually come up with that video, even though we hadn't a clue what we we're doing. but still, it seemed to make even the bitterest people jealous.
caz0n0sonne, YouTube."
Whoa there, take a chill pill sistah.
Did she not realize that she was setting herself up to look like a complete asshole?
Go check out her myspace! She's so...British.
Anyway, Eyeshley and are going to get started on production for Animal Cops: UK immediately.
And Exhibit B...
"OMG, i think i've just seen the funniest thing in my life. you dissing us on your shitty journal. fucking first off, "omg i cant stand that fake HOUSTON accent" you MUST be joking me? we're british and we wouldn't degrade ourselves to talk like you people. there you were rambling on about how we're on 'your territory', hmm well shame i DONT live in that shithole you call home, because i would piss on your territory and you wouldnt stop me.
then i decided to see if you even had a video like us, did you? NO. why bitch about something you cant do yourself anyway? another thing, we dont work as cops or even work with animals so im NOT sorry we 'stole' your idea maybe you should of acted quicker, or maybe we're just better than you cause we had the imagination to actually come up with that video, even though we hadn't a clue what we we're doing. but still, it seemed to make even the bitterest people jealous.
caz0n0sonne, YouTube."
Whoa there, take a chill pill sistah.
Did she not realize that she was setting herself up to look like a complete asshole?
Go check out her myspace! She's so...British.
Anyway, Eyeshley and are going to get started on production for Animal Cops: UK immediately.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
LOVE ME!!! I NEED ATTENTION!!! ugh.
Nobody comments on my blog anymore, except for the random onlooker like KelC DZ or Layla, who are both SUPER cool, by the way. One comment from either of them equals like 5 comments from anyone else. Of course, I'm assuming that Kelsey and Layla are random onlookers. They could be refreshing my page every hour to see if I updated again. I just highly doubt that. They have lives. Layla hangs out with shitty but crazy-popular bands (or one of them anyway), taking neat pictures and the like, while Kelsey...well, Kelsey makes art and plays on basketball teams and stuff. People who are SUPPOSED to read my blog and leave me comments don't have time for my anymore, evidently.
If I judge by Erin, no one even reads my blog anymore at all. The other day, Erin claimed to have read my Angelina Jolie post and then I randomly mentioned my old Angelina Jolie website that I made in 6th grade and she was all..."YOU MADE AN ANGELINA JOLIE WEBSITE?!" Gotcha, bitch.
When are people going to realize how exceptionally cool I am?
Sanjaya. GAY OR NOT GAY?
Pretty obviously gay, right? I can't stand Sanjaya.
If you don't know who Sanjaya is, get with the muhfuckin' times, bitch.
But omg how awesome was Gwen Stefani on American Idol this week? I can stand her. More American Idol talk to come later. I'm going to dedicate an entire post to Melinda at some point. SHE'S JUST SO GOOD!
No song of the day today. Just don't feel like it.
If I judge by Erin, no one even reads my blog anymore at all. The other day, Erin claimed to have read my Angelina Jolie post and then I randomly mentioned my old Angelina Jolie website that I made in 6th grade and she was all..."YOU MADE AN ANGELINA JOLIE WEBSITE?!" Gotcha, bitch.
When are people going to realize how exceptionally cool I am?
Sanjaya. GAY OR NOT GAY?
Pretty obviously gay, right? I can't stand Sanjaya.
If you don't know who Sanjaya is, get with the muhfuckin' times, bitch.
But omg how awesome was Gwen Stefani on American Idol this week? I can stand her. More American Idol talk to come later. I'm going to dedicate an entire post to Melinda at some point. SHE'S JUST SO GOOD!
No song of the day today. Just don't feel like it.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Little Miss Queershine
Sorry about all that L Word talk. I'm an addict.
Last night I had a dream about a violent cultural revolution inside of a television studio. I met a girl there with a prosthetic leg who wanted to be an actress. She was cooler than Heather Mills. I told her that one day I was going to own the studio and that I would make her famous. I guess I am a lot more confident in my dreams. Then I stole some frozen food. But I had to put it back because I noticed the security cameras. Overall it was a scary dream. I kept having to avoid getting killed by the revolutionaries.
Uhhh who talks about their dreams on their blogs?! BAH-RING!!! (Katie Brady reference)
But for real, I was unimpressed with the L Word season finale.
I'm very impressed with Slo and Green's chatterbox.
Abigail Breslin...GAY OR NOT GAY?
Song of the Day is You Don't Know Me by Thanksgiving. I've probably already had a Thanksgiving song as the song of the day, but ah fuck it.
Last night I had a dream about a violent cultural revolution inside of a television studio. I met a girl there with a prosthetic leg who wanted to be an actress. She was cooler than Heather Mills. I told her that one day I was going to own the studio and that I would make her famous. I guess I am a lot more confident in my dreams. Then I stole some frozen food. But I had to put it back because I noticed the security cameras. Overall it was a scary dream. I kept having to avoid getting killed by the revolutionaries.
Uhhh who talks about their dreams on their blogs?! BAH-RING!!! (Katie Brady reference)
But for real, I was unimpressed with the L Word season finale.
I'm very impressed with Slo and Green's chatterbox.
Abigail Breslin...GAY OR NOT GAY?
Song of the Day is You Don't Know Me by Thanksgiving. I've probably already had a Thanksgiving song as the song of the day, but ah fuck it.
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