update for Zoe

I am only doing this for Zoe.
I'm not INTENTIONALLY abandoning this blog.
I honestly just don't have anything interesting or funny to write about.

NOT!!!!

Something hilarious happened to me a couple weeks ago.
I came home from work one day and my roommate was like, "Uh, go look in the bathroom." And I did. And it was flooded. With poop water. There was poop in the toilet. And it was flowing out onto the floor. Totally disgusting. Then we found that the water from the floor of the bathroom was seeping through the wall and into Ashley's room. Ashley is my roommate, and the first to witness the bathroom incident. So, her carpet was totally wet from poopy water. Ashley was like, "It wasn't me." And I was like, "It wasn't me." And she was like, "It wasn't Carissa. It must have been Katie." So, Ashley called our landlord, who is a total idiot/dirtbag/loser/doofus-brain. Then she was all..."Hey I gotta go to a study group so you're going to have to deal with Mike (the landlord)" and I was like, "Aww...aw brah! Brah!" But I'm a pushover so I was like, ok whatever. Then Mike came over and he fixed the toilet and it took him like 10 hours. Then he came out and he was like, "Now that that's done maybe you can give me a backrub" and I was like, "Excuse me?". And he was like, "Some background. Maybe you can give me some background." I don't know if I misheard him at first or if he really is that douchey. He probably really is that douchey. So I was like, "I don't have any background. I just came home and the bathroom was like that. I don't know anymore than you do." And then he proceeded to make me use MY towels to clean up the bathroom floor and to help him rip up all the carpet in ashley's room, carry bricks in from outside to prop it up, and use my fan to blow on it all night. Not only this but he had his, like, 4 year old daughter helping us with all of this too. He had her help with the fixing of the poopy toilet also. That seems like child abuse to me. Anyway, then Katie came home and she was like, "WTF?!?!?!?" except she would never actually say that because she's Mormon. But, she said that she didn't do it either. Then Mike was like, "Well, someone just isn't fessin' up to this! You guys try to find out who it is! I know it's a hard thing to admit to but maybe some people have just grown up in brand new houses and never had to use plungers so they just didn't know what to do." Then he left and we were like...OMG. What a douche. Then, everyone got home and we were all like, omg what happened. And I told them the story about mike and his...mikeness. Then I remembered something. One of our upstairs roommates has a new fiancee (sp?) named Dan. A couple of the other upstairs girls have been telling me stories recently about how several times in the past couple of weeks, they have had to plunge the toilet upstairs because of Dan. Which is totally gross. Not only does he plug the upstairs toilet up and get poop all over it, but he reads THEIR BOOKS on the toilet!! Ew! So, I remembered this. And I told the downstairs girls (I live in the basement with 3 other girls and there are 3 girls upstairs) and we decided that Brittany probably got onto Dan for the clogging of the upstairs toilet, so he came downstairs, clogged OUR toilet, tried to flush it several times, didn't plunge, and left the scene of the crime. Totally gross. So, then, earlier this week, Ashley called our landlord and she was like, "My room smells musty and it's gross. I want some rent deducted from my account." And he was like, "No. It's not my fault that you girls don't know how to use a plunger."

My landlord, Mike. Gay or not gay?
I actually say not gay. He's just too douchey to be gay. He's probably asexual. My OTHER landlord, Larry, though. Or property manager or whatever he is. That is another story. He is so gay.