update

things i can't make up my mind about right now -
the movie seven pounds

new feature - WoW name of the day

WoW name of the day - maidensbreath2000

things i like right now -
free movies
will smith
jellyfish
jellyfish that kill will smith
john hodgman
couches

things i dont like right now -
christmas
the battery life on my computer
the movie seven pounds
how i have to move again this week
my bank

what the fuhh

http://kotaku.com/5110323/teen-shot-parents-because-they-took-away-halo-3

another attempt

things i like right now...
1. NPR
2. jokes
3. songs
4. hot pockets
5. killer bunnies, the card game not actual bunnies that kill things. that sounds a little scary and it would probably be on the things i don't like list.
6. The Wire

things i don't like right now...
1. the people who live in my basement. they are re-tiling their bathroom and last night they were hammering away until midnight when i was totally trying to sleep. their bathroom is directly under my bedroom, so that sucks.
2. big dogs who are up in my face all the time and smell bad.
3. dogs who are mean. the nicest of all my roommate's dogs got attacked today by some mean dogs. he looks really sad right now and it is depressing me.
4. blogging.

i'm going to try rull hard to keep doing this

things i like right now:
1. crossword puzzles (i've realized this recently thanks to jessy)
2. gas prices/the gas mileage on my car
3. the sexy new president
4. britney spears (dunno why. she's just on my good side today. pretty sure i even called her a "lovely young woman" earlier this evening, and i was only mostly joking.)

things i don't like right now:
1. how my cellphone always turns off by itself. what if it does that in the middle of the night and then my alarm doesnt go off in the morning?!
2. when crossword puzzles are too hard
3. walkie-talkie mishaps. double paging, going live, etc. WALKIE TANGENT....i remember when i was little, i thought walkie talkies were the COOLEST THING EVER and i always wanted a job where i used one. the glamour has worn off though, i think.
4. really needy people who want me to find 10,000 cd's for them when i could be doing productive things.

bad news

i think i might be entering into one of my "im not going to keep up with my blogging at all" phases. i mean, maybe not. just sayin'. holy balls tomorrow is election day!

updating because i feel i must.

It has been way too long since I've been to the Sizzler. I keep almost going, and then it doesn't work out. It is wonderful that Schnebbs and Schnebbs get a week vacation to Disneyland but they are my Sizzler friends and they need to come back. (heee-eey schnebbs!)

Is the word schnebbs totally over? It might be, but I don't know if I can stop saying it.

So, Barack Obama watches Mad Men. God he is cool. John McCain says that he watches The Tudors. First of all, yeaaahhhhhhh right!! And second of all, that is extremely gay. Remember when John McCain hosted SNL? That was weird. That was back when he was all, "Yeah, I'm a republican but I can be hip and funny and totes all about the liberal media and I wanna do Jon Stewart up the butt hole" and I was all like, "John Ma-who? Huh, all right McCain, I might pick up what you're puttin' down..." and then he turned into the biggest douche bag ever.

i have so many things to say

I made this sweet waffler for a contest and then I missed the deadline. Which sucks but i guess i'll just post the pics on here.

how can anyone not like Yelle? it's happy music. hey Zoe, you should listen to Yelle.

speaking of Zoe, OMG THIS BLOG HAS TROLLS!! Someone has been commenting, pretending to be Zoe but they are not Zoe. who would do that?! An effing troll! Hey troll, get your lulz up out of my business! But, if it's not a troll that's doing it and it's just someone I know OR it's not even happening at all and the real Zoe is just playing an elaborate prank on me, then that's pretty funny and...proceed.

i went to a Fleet Foxes show a couple nights ago and i would say that it was probably life-changing. Robin Pecknold is a God. i felt like i was watching a young Bob Dylan, or Jeff Mangum or something. the connection he had to what he was playing and to the audience was raw and emotional and i just feel like it was pretty special.

stolen from Jessy because it was really entertaining but mine probably isn't as entertaining. no backstreet boys.

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, MP3 Player, or whatever on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.


If Someone says, “Is this okay?”, you say?
The View - Modest Mouse

How would you describe yourself?
Wisdom - David Gray (lulz)

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Strings That Tie to You - Jon Brion (awwwwwWwW)

How do you feel today?
New Violence - White Williams

What is your life’s purpose?
I'm A Cuckoo - Belle and Sebastian

What is your motto?
Sure As Shit - Kathleen Edwards

What do your friends think of you?
One PM Again - Yo La Tengo

How do you feel about your parents?
Rocket Ship - Daniel Johnston

What do you think about very often?
Grey Gardens - Rufus Wainwright

What is 2 + 2?
Today - Lagwagon

What do you think of your best friend?
Handshakes - Metric

What do you think of the person you like?
Light Pollution - Bright Eyes

What is your life story?
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Dilaudid - The Mountain Goats (DEPRESSING!)

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Lead Me On - Ray LaMontagne

What will you dance to at your wedding?
Levater - Yael Naim

What will they play at your funeral?
Wildcat - Ratatat (please please please do)

What is your hobby/interest?
Take Him Back To New York City - Herman Dune

What is your biggest fear?
Little Babies - Sleater Kinney (ha!)

What is your biggest secret?
My Life Your Entertainment - T.I. feat. Usher (maybe it is my biggest secret that I love T.I.)

What do you think of your friends?
The Story of an Artist - Daniel Johnston (some of my friends are like that)

What will you post this as?
Porn Star - T.I. (yeah, he definitely came up again.)

today

I had a really good day today. I haven't had one of those in awhile.
Not isolating + Busy work day + Laundry + spending time with old friends + making new friends = Ali happy.
That is all.

the dog pt.2

I am wondering right now if it is healthy to hate a poor defenseless puppy as much as I do in this moment. I really thought that I was such a dog person! It was, like, one of those things I would tell people about myself. I don't think I am anymore.

I am cool with a lot of dogs. Like, Wilson (my family's dogs). And, Laryne's dog Otto. And, Ben's dogs. Even my roommate's one dog, Zillionaire...he's fine. BUT THIS PUPPY IS SUCH A LITTLE BITCH! And not even the OK kind of bitch when you are talking about dogs, because he's not female.

He seriously howls from 6:00 in the morning until my roommate gets back from work. I've tried everything. I even took him out of his cage this morning and tried to play with him. He still howled, even when I was with him. Headphones with loud music don't block it out. ALMOST, but I still hear it just enough to feel immense hatred. Talking to him sternly. Giving him a rawhide treat. None of it works. The Mexicans downstairs can't be happy about this either.

So, I was never really a huge fan of Tegan and Sara's last album but they released an album this year of the Demos from it and I kind of can't stop listening to it!!

Tegan and Sara, gay or not gay? lulz. Gay twins. Gwins.
Check out this funny picture of Tegan and Sara with those guys from Metallica. Haha! Because it's Tegan...and Sara...and Metallica.

hair cut

I got my hair cut today and it's a little shorter than i wanted it to be. I kind of look like a boy.
I feel like in a week it will be fine, though.

Should I go see the Secret Life of Bees?
Reasons to not go see it - I hate Dakota Fanning. I feel like Queen Latifah is second rate about 89% of the time. It's probably going to be lame.
Reasons to go see it - I like black people. Jennifer Hudson. I heard the book was good or something. Did Oprah say that?

Should I go see Blindness?
Reasons to go see it - It looks AWESOME!!!!1
Reasons to not go see it - mediocre reviews?!?! how disappointing!

Dakota Fanning, gay or not gay? Neither, just retarded.

drag for diane

see more pwn and owned pictures

passion ignited!!

So...that's, uh, Terry Richardson. And Barack Obama. I LOVE TERRY RICHARDSON!!! I don't know why but I just think he is really super cool. Maybe it's the flannel shirt, maybe it's the grandpa glasses, maybe it's the dirty rapist mustache, maybe it's the nudie pictures he takes. And look, Barack Obama is touching his hand!! Wow...who knows where that hand has been. Ha, I do! I know! (on his penis)

The Dog

Maybe instead of writing about how adorable and funny my roommate's dogs are, I can write about how much I want to kick them in the brain. Zillionaire was crying and barking in the room right next to me for three hours this morning while I was trying to sleep. And the other dog...the warrior king...what a little douche. He pees on the floor all the time. My roommate isn't the greatest at disciplining him. Her solution is to just keep him in her lap at all times. That's going to suck when he grows to this size.

What's up with people texting me and saying "what's up?" and then me texting back and saying "nothing...what's up with you?" and then not hearing back from them ever?

Zoe's update of the day is...........OMG Amy Poehler is sooOoOoOo preggerz!!1!11!!
That just made Zoe sounds like a 13 year old girl, but that's not what she's like at all. I'm misrepresenting her.

sorry zoe

For those of you who don't know Zoe Nelson, please allow yourself to get acquainted with her. She's only the biggest celebrity in Kalispell, Montana. That is if you don't count John Lithgow, who supposedly lives in Kalispell or somewhere around there. Aaaaand...Gomer Pyle. And Connie Chung. Ok, well, Zoe's probably at least in the top 10 or 15. There is a mural of her in Norm's News on Main Street for Christ's sake!! Is there a freakin' mural of Connie Chung anywhere?! I highly doubt it. Anyway, the point is, one time I saw Zoe in the park and I thought it would be funny to ask for her autograph but I'm glad I didn't because we probably never would have become such great friends if I had done that. And even further, the real point is, this entire blog is pretty much totally for Zoe. So she's going to be a recurring character. Like pretty much anytime Zoe says something to me, I'll probably blog about it. But, Zoe, don't you try to pull one over on me and start saying things just so I'll blog about them! I wasn't born yesterday, you finky sea-rat! So, anyway, all you other readers...be introduced.

Zoe pretty much told me that I was a pessimistic retarded person after I wrote that last blog. And even though I'm listening to the La Vie En Rose soundtrack and it kind of makes me want to move to France, I know that she's right. There are good things about the U.S.A. and not voting is pretty dumb and this election is pretty important and stuff.

Politicians

Watching the debate tonight and then following up with some research has made me come to the realization that all politicians are pussies. I mean, I get it...I get why everyone should vote...how it's our responsibility as American citizens...blahdiblahdiblah. But, honestly, I just can't get excited about anyone. I'm liberal, so, I obviously think that Obama could do the most good. But I just don't feel like he totally baROCKS, you know? I guess at least he's not evil, retarded, and 300 years old like John McCain. And I think Biden is just your every day normal politician. A pussy. Not a lot of backbone, maybe. But at least he's not a psycho, irrational, biotch like Sarah Palin. I don't really feel like anyone who wants to be president is actually fit to be president. There are some people who are fit to be president, but those people are smart and humble and would never want to be the President. Unless, you know, it was some emergency situation like a CYLON ATTACK!!!!! omg i <3 Laura Roslin. i am so writing her in.

I hate it when people are super cynical all the time. But when it comes to electing the next president (as if we the people actually did elect the president)...I just really am not very motivated or passionate. This country is doomed no matter what. What we are really voting for is how fast or slow it's going to happen. It's depressing. It's frustrating. It's scary. But...shit happens. It's pretty fruitless to stress out about it all the time. I don't feel like I have any influence on the direction of the nation or the world. Wouldn't it serve all of us better to just focus on the things we love and roll with the punches? Focusing on the big picture all of the time is exhausting...and it defeats the purpose of seeing the big picture in the first place. And there is a big picture.

lulz

doop bee doop bee doo

iAm downloading the iTunes 8.0 Genius feature right now. iHear it's awesome. iWill be the judge of that.

Tonight is my first night in my new house, with not one dog, but two dogs. Zillionaire and Krull the Warrior King. I might have the spelling wrong on that second name. But now that I can't tell stories about my last roommates, I might tell stories about the dogs. But only if they do really cool/funny stuff.

My new room has baby blue walls and tile floor...not unsimilar to a bathroom, in fact!

But I finally have wireless internet. Bloggity blog blog dog frog.
Also, my new roommate has TiVo! WoooOOOw

post script

I saw Sigur-Ros last night and it was life altering.

But thank God JD recorded the Dexter season premier.

i'm close to maybe being in a stable enough spot to blog consistently

So, I'm close to maybe being in a stable enough spot to blog consistently...which is the title of this post. I got kicked out of my apartment. The landlord was crazy and said that she didn't know the girl I was subletting from ever moved out and that she didn't want to sublet at all and blah blah blah. She totally did know that I was subletting, but she kicked me out anyway. Honestly I think it was because I'm not LDS. She said that they are "really picky about who they let live there" after I totally offered to sign a contract. What the H is that supposed to mean?! So, I was pissed. Then not very pissed but just really stressed out because... homeless again. I'm wasn't pissed because number one...this means I don't have to see stupid girl roommates ever again. And number two...I didn't pay a deposit or anything on that place so I basically lived there for free for like two weeks. Awesome. So, I found a new place that I'm moving into tomorrow after work. I think it will probably work out. It's a house, I like that. There's a dog there named Zillionaire, I like that. There is internet and cable TV, I like those things. There's a pool table in the living room. And I only have one roommate. It's a little expensive and it's pretty far from work which sucks big time but I'll get over it.

I bet this homeless shizz is getting really boring for everyone except me. It's not exactly boring for me, but I AM hella sick of it.

I've been slacking on the blog. Zoe recently told me to pull my head outta my ass and keep up with it. What Zoe says pretty much goes, so here I am bloggin' it up.

I would talk about Palin but everyone is talking about Palin and I'm sick of it. She's obviously crazy and if you can't see that she's crazy then you need to know that it's because you are also crazy and should go into therapy immediately. It's not a good thing that she's getting all this attention. Negative or positive, it's still attention. Which sucks. I feel like Barack has dropped off the face of the earth this past couple of weeks.

Ew, boring, election talk.
Did you guys hear that Lindsay Lohan might be in the new Katy Perry video? OMG

i <3 k recs

Not that 90% of my 6 or 7 readers have ever heard of K Records, but maybe 1 of you have and you should know that they're having a t-shirt sale. All K Recs shirts are $10!! (for a limited time) What a deal. My personal favorite is the green Blow shirt on page 2. Hawt.

My roommates are party hopping tonight. The idea of Mormon college freshman parties blows my mind. Because no one drinks alcohol! What?!?! A college party with no beer pong? Beer bongs? Other kinds of bongs? King's cup? Key Light? PBR? I mean, yeah, maybe I did go to school in a mountain party town known for its heavy drinkers and excellent architecture program. But still. Still.

my apartment almost got raided by the KGB

And by KGB, I mean the Provo police. And by my apartment almost got raided, I mean that when I was sleeping, my roommates got the cops called on themselves because they were being too loud then when the cops came to the door, they refused to answer because they were scared. To their credit, I didn't hear the cops announce themselves as cops either. Because, obviously, the heavy knocking woke me up. I thought it was angry neighbors, and I was sleeping, so I sure as hell wasn't going to go answer the door. I don't want to deal with angry neighbors on my second day in the apartment when I wasn't even making any noise. But, it wasn't angry neighbors, it was the po-po...summoned by angry neighbors. Seriously...I live in "that" apartment (yeah, I just used quotations AND italics). That super annoying apartment that everyone in the complex hates.

My New Roommates' Moment of the Day!!
These three things were said to me by the same girl within about 10 minutes...
"I have never peed my pants before and Tiffany made me pee my pants TWICE yesterday!!!!1!1"
"Are you LDS? Oh, then are you...do you...do you believe in God?"
"The thought of seeing a guy naked creeps me out. I'm just so ticklish!!"

I am going to call my roommates Roxy and Tiffany. Those aren't their real names. Those are made up names. Roxy and Tiffany have a friend who is over all the time but she's not an actual roommate, we'll call her Jeska. Like, Jessica, except with that total drunk valley girl accent...Jeskahhh.

And so, not only did all of that go down, but also, my roommates LOVE to take videos of themselves dancing. I think we listened to Rihanna's Disturbia at least 15 times last night. They just put that song on repeat and ask me to film them on their camera phones while they dance with each other. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stomach them, but for now I am strangely intrigued and entertained. Oh, also, next time they do the dancing thing, I'm going to use my phone and then I'll post the video on here. Be excited.

Hercugay

Tonight I watched one of my coworkers fake fight a fake Obi-Wan Kenobi, and they TIED. Yeah, right. Like Obi-Wan would just settle for a tie when he's fighting Adam Argyle, who obviously is some sort of evil entity schnebbs. Before that, I had thanksgiving dinner with JD and Tom and I ordered this strawberry lemonade that Tom said would give me heartburn. Wrong. It didn't. Now I don't want to go home and talk to my roommates so I'm doing super internet secret stealsies blogs.

Kevin Sorbo...gay or not gay? I don't know but I'll tell you this...Zach Johns wishes he was gay. I was going to photoshop a sweet picture of Zach Johns and Kevin Sorbo together but Zach deleted his myspace (unless I just didn't look hard enough) so now I don't have any pictures of him. As Zach would say, lame sauce. Maybe I'll find some at a later date and then post my creation at that time.

bleh

Just a few quick points.
Getting sick sucks.
How funny is Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impression?
There has been a request for me to start a new blog where I only post about things that I overhear my new roommates saying. I'm seriously considering it. Actually, I think I'll just make it a new thing for this blog. Like, instead of the Gay or Not Gay game.

My Roommates' Moment of the Day...
Last night, they asked me about six times if I "like to go clubbin'". I told them that I'm not much of a "clubber".

non-homeless schnebbs

First of all, the new facebook. It's not that bad. Stop complaining. Pull your head out of your butt and learn how to adjust to change.

Second, I'm not homeless anymore, so you can all calm down finally! Just take a big breath, it's ok, I'm ok, you're ok, we're ok.

Third, I am so into Blitzen Trapper right now.

I have a new house and a new car. Things are supposed to come in threes, so what is the third thing going to be?!?!?!? Exciting.

I'm kind of tired of the gay or not gay game. I want to think of a couple new games and alternate them out. Because I don't want the gay or not gay game to go away forever. I'm sure I'll think of someone good for it again and want to play it in the future.

indiana jones

i went and saw indiana jones at the dollar theater tonight and i fell asleep like seven times. 

heh.

34 wizard blood!!!1

There are three things I have experienced lately that make me want to lose my life and spend all of my time on the internet.

1. This article...

2. This movie.

3. Then, earlier this evening, I downloaded Yahoo Instant Messenger, made a Yahoo account and then went into an RPG chat room. Spent about 5 minutes in there and tried to fit in. All I had to do was write, "Is that how you get your lulz, buddy?" and I'm pretty sure I made like 5 new friends.

Oh, and before, when I said I wanted to spend all my time on the internet, I meant that I never want to get on the internet again.

I forgot to do the gay or not gay game on my last post which is sad. Ok, so, in honor of the last post...how is Starbuck on BSG not gay? She really should be gay. She's so manly.

I Have Seen Every Sci-Fi Show Ever Made

And by that I mean, I have seen season 1 of Battlestar Galactica.

I just want to talk about sci-fi for a little bit. I am supposed to hate everything sci-fi. I WANT to hate everything sci-fi. Why can I not get enough Joss Whedon? Is he a genius? Do I just feel peer pressure? And it's not JUST Joss. It's also Battlestar Galactica. Why is that show so damn good? Why do I feel like such a douche when I'm watching it, but I still can't stop? ALSO, musicals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have always hated musicals. Until...what the fuh?! I have actually thought about buying the Mamma Mia soundtrack! Even though it has been playing in my workplace for months and all I have to do is walk over into the music department to hear it. And I still can't get enough of "Honey honey how he thrills me, uh huh, honey honey...."? I really liked Hairspray, too. Is it the mormons that are doing this to me? The worst is Joss Whedon mixed with musicals. AKA...Dr Horrible. Aaaaaand the Buffy musical. Not as awesome as Dr. Horrible, but still amazing amounts of awesome. But, oh my god, I just wrote in my blog that the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical is "amazing amounts of awesome".

I just lost all my street cred. Thanks a lot, Joss Whedon.

Joe...Confidin'?

I am currently homeless. I really am looking for a place to live, but I think the fact that I ignore all the ads with the words "BYU Approved" and "LDS standards" severely limits my options. Still, I have some leads. And by that I mean I have one lead. I hope it works out.

I've decided to change the gay or not gay game. I'm going to stop asking and start telling, because I always know what's up. Joe Biden is SO un-gay and such a pimp! He's so cool that he's probably bisexual. Oh, this just in...breaking news from my pants to my brain...Joe Biden = DEFINITELY bisexual.

I've been watching Joe Biden youtube videos for like an hour. The guy cracks me up. He seems like kind of a dick, but a really funny dick. Which is my favorite kind of dick. Some of my favorite Joe Biden quotes...

"You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent."

"Dennis Kucinich, the thing I like most about you is your wife."

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." (uhh...ever heard of Wayne Brady, Biden?)

Memories

I just got done reading all of my old blog posts and wow, I can be funny if I try really hard! I also used to blog a lot more. But I think I'm getting a new computer...which means more bloggage and more laughs for you. Well, probably just more laughs for me. I really enjoy laughing at my own hijinks. The most annoying old blog posts are the ones about The L Word because they don't hold up! I don't even know anyone who watches that show anymore. BUT, I have been watching 5th season and I know I shouldn't blog about it but oh man I want to. Because there's no one to talk to about it. Because I don't know anyone who watches it, you know?!?!?! But I won't do it. Except, I'll just say, that most of my season 5 predictions were incorrect...WTF? Those writers are all on crack, which makes them unpredictable. 

Ilene Chaiken, creator of The L Word, gay or not gay? I'm going to go against the grain here and say that she just hasn't met the right man yet. 

Trolls

What the F is up with Trolls?


I am in Canada. This might be the second time I've blogged from Canada, I don't know what's up with that either. My brother is going to school in Nelson, British Columbia so I'm visiting for a few days. There are so many damn hippies here. I usually don't have much against hippies but they are annoying me so much. The hippies I hate most are hippie parents. Like, young hippie couples with babies who let their babies name themselves and pick out their own clothes, which is usually, like, a brown paper sack or something. Hippies make terrible parents.

Barack Obama...gay or not gay? Not gay. Michelle? Gay.

jkasdfjkweikdkfznf,dmfnjefher23jdf

I'm in still Utah. WHY???? I think one time I said that SLC was only 10% mormon because I heard that somewhere. Well that's total bullshit, I'm pretty sure. Also, before I moved here, I had nothing at all against Mormons. Now I think they're bullshit. Well, ok, I'm generalizing. Not all of them are bad. There are a bunch of really cool ones, kind of.

Wait, so, why am I still here?

I don't have an answer to that. I like my job a lot (shout out to JD). I have a few good friends. Uhhhhh. Uhhh....ummmm...that's all I got. But I guess having a job that I like is pretty important, right? I mean, I've never really had that before.

It is the middle of the summer right now and it is really hot. I want to beat the summer heat, just like a woman.

I saw the movie Wanted today. I don't have anything to say about it. Except...Morgan Freeman...gay or not gay? Discuss and keep an open mind about this one. Because, the obvious answer is not gay but how well do you know Morgan Freeman?? Let's explore all of our options .