update for Zoe

I am only doing this for Zoe.
I'm not INTENTIONALLY abandoning this blog.
I honestly just don't have anything interesting or funny to write about.

NOT!!!!

Something hilarious happened to me a couple weeks ago.
I came home from work one day and my roommate was like, "Uh, go look in the bathroom." And I did. And it was flooded. With poop water. There was poop in the toilet. And it was flowing out onto the floor. Totally disgusting. Then we found that the water from the floor of the bathroom was seeping through the wall and into Ashley's room. Ashley is my roommate, and the first to witness the bathroom incident. So, her carpet was totally wet from poopy water. Ashley was like, "It wasn't me." And I was like, "It wasn't me." And she was like, "It wasn't Carissa. It must have been Katie." So, Ashley called our landlord, who is a total idiot/dirtbag/loser/doofus-brain. Then she was all..."Hey I gotta go to a study group so you're going to have to deal with Mike (the landlord)" and I was like, "Aww...aw brah! Brah!" But I'm a pushover so I was like, ok whatever. Then Mike came over and he fixed the toilet and it took him like 10 hours. Then he came out and he was like, "Now that that's done maybe you can give me a backrub" and I was like, "Excuse me?". And he was like, "Some background. Maybe you can give me some background." I don't know if I misheard him at first or if he really is that douchey. He probably really is that douchey. So I was like, "I don't have any background. I just came home and the bathroom was like that. I don't know anymore than you do." And then he proceeded to make me use MY towels to clean up the bathroom floor and to help him rip up all the carpet in ashley's room, carry bricks in from outside to prop it up, and use my fan to blow on it all night. Not only this but he had his, like, 4 year old daughter helping us with all of this too. He had her help with the fixing of the poopy toilet also. That seems like child abuse to me. Anyway, then Katie came home and she was like, "WTF?!?!?!?" except she would never actually say that because she's Mormon. But, she said that she didn't do it either. Then Mike was like, "Well, someone just isn't fessin' up to this! You guys try to find out who it is! I know it's a hard thing to admit to but maybe some people have just grown up in brand new houses and never had to use plungers so they just didn't know what to do." Then he left and we were like...OMG. What a douche. Then, everyone got home and we were all like, omg what happened. And I told them the story about mike and his...mikeness. Then I remembered something. One of our upstairs roommates has a new fiancee (sp?) named Dan. A couple of the other upstairs girls have been telling me stories recently about how several times in the past couple of weeks, they have had to plunge the toilet upstairs because of Dan. Which is totally gross. Not only does he plug the upstairs toilet up and get poop all over it, but he reads THEIR BOOKS on the toilet!! Ew! So, I remembered this. And I told the downstairs girls (I live in the basement with 3 other girls and there are 3 girls upstairs) and we decided that Brittany probably got onto Dan for the clogging of the upstairs toilet, so he came downstairs, clogged OUR toilet, tried to flush it several times, didn't plunge, and left the scene of the crime. Totally gross. So, then, earlier this week, Ashley called our landlord and she was like, "My room smells musty and it's gross. I want some rent deducted from my account." And he was like, "No. It's not my fault that you girls don't know how to use a plunger."

My landlord, Mike. Gay or not gay?
I actually say not gay. He's just too douchey to be gay. He's probably asexual. My OTHER landlord, Larry, though. Or property manager or whatever he is. That is another story. He is so gay.

I'm Back

Rehab part Two and the Reasons that Canada Rocks

Top 10 Reasons why Canadians are Happier than Americans

1. Prius Taxi Cabs
2. Free Health Care
3. Tegan and Sara. Also, Ryan Gosling.
   
4. Street names like "Otter Point" and "Timberdoodle Lane" are common place.
   
5. Prius Taxi Cabs
6. Prius Taxi Cabs
7. Prius Taxi Cabs
8. Prius Taxi Cabs
9. Prius Taxi Cabs
10. PRIUS TAXI CABS!!
    

I'm moving to Canada. After I get out of rehab. By the way, I'm going to rehab. Again. That is for those of you who I don't call. If you didn't receive a call from me (and if I don't call you before Wednesday morning then it's not going to happen), it means that I don't love you.

Just kidding. I do love you. I probably just ran out of time because I insist on putting everything off to the last minute. Always. Don't be offended.

Also, you should know that I'm only going to rehab to further my celebrity. It's chic.

I'll be on hiatus for 3 months. I MIGHT get internet access on weekends at some point. But I'm not sure. And it might only be for email. We'll see.

First Hate Mail

So, yesterday, I was trying to come up with some elaborate scheme on how to p0wn these girls. But, I don't think I could really do anything better than to just let you all read the myspace message they sent me. First, if you want to check out the video and comment that sparked this message...ladies and gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A.

And Exhibit B...

"OMG, i think i've just seen the funniest thing in my life. you dissing us on your shitty journal. fucking first off, "omg i cant stand that fake HOUSTON accent" you MUST be joking me? we're british and we wouldn't degrade ourselves to talk like you people. there you were rambling on about how we're on 'your territory', hmm well shame i DONT live in that shithole you call home, because i would piss on your territory and you wouldnt stop me.
then i decided to see if you even had a video like us, did you? NO. why bitch about something you cant do yourself anyway? another thing, we dont work as cops or even work with animals so im NOT sorry we 'stole' your idea maybe you should of acted quicker, or maybe we're just better than you cause we had the imagination to actually come up with that video, even though we hadn't a clue what we we're doing. but still, it seemed to make even the bitterest people jealous.

caz0n0sonne, YouTube."

Whoa there, take a chill pill sistah.
Did she not realize that she was setting herself up to look like a complete asshole?
Go check out her myspace! She's so...British.
Anyway, Eyeshley and are going to get started on production for Animal Cops: UK immediately.

LOVE ME!!! I NEED ATTENTION!!! ugh.

Nobody comments on my blog anymore, except for the random onlooker like KelC DZ or Layla, who are both SUPER cool, by the way. One comment from either of them equals like 5 comments from anyone else. Of course, I'm assuming that Kelsey and Layla are random onlookers. They could be refreshing my page every hour to see if I updated again. I just highly doubt that. They have lives. Layla hangs out with shitty but crazy-popular bands (or one of them anyway), taking neat pictures and the like, while Kelsey...well, Kelsey makes art and plays on basketball teams and stuff. People who are SUPPOSED to read my blog and leave me comments don't have time for my anymore, evidently.

If I judge by Erin, no one even reads my blog anymore at all. The other day, Erin claimed to have read my Angelina Jolie post and then I randomly mentioned my old Angelina Jolie website that I made in 6th grade and she was all..."YOU MADE AN ANGELINA JOLIE WEBSITE?!" Gotcha, bitch.

When are people going to realize how exceptionally cool I am?

Sanjaya. GAY OR NOT GAY?
Pretty obviously gay, right? I can't stand Sanjaya.
If you don't know who Sanjaya is, get with the muhfuckin' times, bitch.
But omg how awesome was Gwen Stefani on American Idol this week? I can stand her. More American Idol talk to come later. I'm going to dedicate an entire post to Melinda at some point. SHE'S JUST SO GOOD!

No song of the day today. Just don't feel like it.

Little Miss Queershine

Sorry about all that L Word talk. I'm an addict.

Last night I had a dream about a violent cultural revolution inside of a television studio. I met a girl there with a prosthetic leg who wanted to be an actress. She was cooler than Heather Mills. I told her that one day I was going to own the studio and that I would make her famous. I guess I am a lot more confident in my dreams. Then I stole some frozen food. But I had to put it back because I noticed the security cameras. Overall it was a scary dream. I kept having to avoid getting killed by the revolutionaries.

Uhhh who talks about their dreams on their blogs?! BAH-RING!!! (Katie Brady reference)

But for real, I was unimpressed with the L Word season finale.
I'm very impressed with Slo and Green's chatterbox.

Abigail Breslin...GAY OR NOT GAY?

Song of the Day is You Don't Know Me by Thanksgiving. I've probably already had a Thanksgiving song as the song of the day, but ah fuck it.

Get Ready For Some Intense L Word Talk

Obviously, spoilers will ensue.


THOUGHTS ON THE LAST EPISODE OF SEASON 4...

• What the fuck is Bette doing going to Tina for relationships advice? It totally weirds me out. I’m so over Bette and Tina. Although I have to admit, they are better than Bette and Marlee Matlin.

• Alice is such a bitch about Tasha’s military stuff. I love Alice hardcore but seriously.

• WTF! Dana! I was almost over her and then they have to tease me like that. I’m going to cry just thinking about last season (3rd …the Dana Death season). THE L WORD SUCKS.

• Phyllis and Joyce Wishnea actually had some good chemistry. I mean, they’re both gross. But cute together in a weird way. They deserve each other.

• Jenny is crazy.

THOUGHTS ON SEASON 4 IN GENERAL

• Tina sucks. What’s up with her hair? It looked horrible the entire season.

• Papi sucks. Except for that time she imitated Angus, only because Angus sucks more than her and it was hilarious.

• Angus sucks.

• Jodi sucks.

• Phyllis sucks.

• I KIND OF like Tasha. She's real pretty. But she needs to loosen up a little.
  

• Katherine (Helena’s pimp) sucks a LOT.

• Paige sucks. She’s domesticating Shane and that sucks. The only person who I’ll accept doing that is Carmen because of her ass.

• Kate the Lez Girls director sucks even more than Katherine and Angus put together. I HATE HER. She’s sleazy and pretentious and rude. And not that attractive.

• Max…Oh, Max. Maxi pad. Max didn’t suck AS MUCH this season. But Daniela Sea is still a bad actress.

• Jenny is still crazy.

• Alice is still hilarious and the most amazing television character ever, albeit a little bitchier than before.
  

• Bette is still controlling but lovable.

• Kit is still Pam Grier.

• I miss Dana.

PREDICTIONS, BITCH!

• Jenny got a new puppy on the season finale, so I predict that the cute veterinarian will return next season having broken up with the vagina wig, Stacy Merkin (Heather Matarazzo). Also, Jenny will do some more crazy stuff.  (I was so wrong!! The vet is not back and neither is Heather Matarazzo. But I will tell you what...Jenny is crazier than ever.)

• Bette and Tina will get back together. UGH! Gross. (Yeah. It's happening. And it is effing gross. I mean, I heart them both. But they are being such sneaky whores.)

• Carmen will probably show up at some point, which I’m looking forward to. I really miss Carmen. Or, rather…I really miss her ass. (Not yet. And I'm on episode 10. This is quite disappointing. Although...I loves the Molly.)

• Shane and Paige will break up. Paige will probably go back to a man. Shane is a playa 4ever. (Ha! Yes and I loved it.)

• I predict that Tasha will not die, but I’m not really sure whether or not she will be back next season. I don’t think she’s very good for Alice. They were cute at first, but eh. I stand by my opinion that Alice is best as the quirky single one. (Yeah she didn't die and she's not in the army anymore and I'm so bored. They're moving in together. Barf.)

• Kit and Mangus will get back together. (No! He's disappeared forever into the infinite abyss!)

• Actually, Papi and Mangus both die in a fatal motorcycle/limo accident. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking. (Yup, they're both gone. I mean, they didn't die. There's just no mention of Papi. Or Mangus, I don't think. The L Word is really good at just making people disappear with no explanation.)

• Dana will never show up or be spoken of again. (I just cried in the last episode I watched because she was mentioned. God. So sad, still.)
  

• Max will move to San Francisco with whats-her-face and disappear from our lives forever (thank god). And he will go through with the surgery. (No!!! Oh my God!!!! Daniela Sea is such a terrible actress and she's still all up in our grillz! And all of a sudden he just doesn't care about the surgery anymore? WTF?!?!)

OVERALL CONSENSUS

• I didn't think it could get much worse than season 3. It did.
  

"Oh Curses!" he screams with such passion.

Do I curse too much? Does it come off as trashy? I know that Erin has touched on this subject a couple of times. I really like cursing. Don't judge me.

But, I was thinking, what if my grandma were to stumble across my blog? Yeah, right, I know. My grandma can barely even use her email. BUT, when I was in like 6th grade, I made a website dedicated to Angelina Jolie because I was retarded and one day I checked the guestbook and there was a comment from MY GRANDMA!!!!1!1ONE
To be honest, it didn't seem too weird at the time, but looking back...WTF?! Was my grandma googling Angelina Jolie or something? My parents might have shown it to her. I guess that makes more sense. But still...weird.

Angelina Jolie...GAY OR NOT GAY?
She's so straight.
I know she used to have a thing with Jenny Shimizu but that's not really saying much. I think a lot of straight girls would probably have things with Jenny Shimizu if given the opportunity. Shimizu is totally hot. Speaking of those two, Foxfire was the worst movie ever. Ok, maybe not the worst ever but I recently saw it for the first time and I was supremely disappointed. Although that COULD HAVE BEEN because it was an edited-for-television version. But probably not.

Song of the day is I Want You (She's So Heavy) by The Beatles. I don't think I appreciate the Beatles enough, but this song has been on repeat all day long.

Do You Know?

So, today I was searching for videos of Whitney Houston being a lesbian and I found this bullshit!



There's nothing I love more than Whitney Houston impressions. Trust me on that one. But the sound quality on this video totally fucked it up. What is that like a cellphone video camera or something? Tina should get her own tv show where she does nothing but Whitney Houston impressions and calls people lesbians the whole time. I would watch that show every day.

And oh man, check out this bitch! I like this girl because she's all about offending everyone she meets.

Unemployment and American Idol

I've only been unemployed for a day and half now and I already don't know what to do with myself. I'm so bored. Not that my job was exciting or anything, but it was SOMETHING.

So who's been watching American Idol? Anyone? Well I've been rocking it. I think I'm rooting for Blake and/or Jordan and/or Haley. But only for Haley because or her legs. Did you guys see her outfit on the British Invasion episode?! Damn. Blake is completely adorable and he beat-boxes and does cute little dances. Jordan reminds me of America Ferrera. I think Ugly Betty totally sucks but I kind of like America Ferrera. I hope I'm spelling her last name right. Actually, nope, don't really care.

I would talk about how much I hate Ryan Seacrest but that would take like 10 hours and it would make this blog way too long. But trust me, I HATE HIM.

Ryan Seacrest...GAY OR NOT GAY?



Gay. There's only one thing wrong with this video. Even if Simon Cowell were gay (which he's so not), he would never go for a retard like Seacrest.

Song of the day is the L Word theme song. I HATE THAT SONG!!! OMG, Betty is playing at Montana Gay Pride in Billings this year! That sucks so much. I wonder if they're going to play the L Word theme. Stupid Betty.

Just a Quickie in the Bathroom at Your Aunt's Dinner Party

You know who's not intimidating at all? The band Survivor. But they made totally awesome videos.



Every member of Survivor. GAY OR NOT GAY?

Song of the day is obviously Eye of the Tiger.

What's That Smell?

Patrick Swayze. What the fuck happened to that guy?
He was totally awesome in Donnie Darko. Eyeshley just informed me that he shows horses. Arabian ones. She knows him. Yeah, Eyeshley knows Patrick Swayze. Wayne Newton is into Arabian horses too. She also knows William Shatner, because he's into stallions. Eyeshley is practically a celebrity. She's a horse expert. She bought a Seventeen magazine tonight so she could see what the kids are wearing these days. And there's an article in it about different vagina smells. Yeah. One of the smells is "bready". And the reason your vagina smells bready is because of a yeast infection. How hilarious is that? Answer: Really hilarious. I love Seventeen magazine. There's also an article about how to kiss "the right way" and how it's awesome to date 15-year-old guys because they are "super psyched" about having girlfriends. Aw.

Patrick Swayze. GAY OR NOT GAY?
Hello. Gay. Duh.

Song of the day is Total Eclipse of the Heart.

"Can you imagine dancing with Patrick Swayze to Total Eclipse of the Heart? You'd feel like an angel ." - Ashley Willis

PAUSE!!!! PAUSE!!! EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND GO WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO!!!!



Uh...ninjas...flying men with glowing eyes...80's hair Bonnie Tyler...glowing white gowns...NINJAS, you guys. It's hands down the best music video I have ever seen. And the bright eyes men are probably going to give me nightmares.

Also, this...
WTF? Eyeshley and I have been Animal Copz for months already. We just haven't made the videos yet. This bitch is invading our territory.

Zoe Nelson

Zoe Nelson is a hot shot. Evidently, one time I got drunk and told her that she was my number two favorite person ever. That's a lie. She's actually my number one, two, three, four, and five favorite person ever. My favorite thing is to blog about celebrities, and Zoe Nelson is definitely a celebrity. I mean, everyone in my fucking town is like, "OMGZZZ!11!1! ZOE NELSON IS SOOOOOO KEWL!!!ONE" And you know what? They're right. Before I met Zoe Nelson, I used to see her at the Concerts In The Park and I would dare whoever I was with to go get her autograph. I didn't even know back then that not ONLY is she best runner ever, but she's also hilarious, witty, crazy nice, and a super genius. I'm not even kidding. Zoe Nelson is the coolest person in the entire world. For some reason, son-of-a-bitch-blogspot won't let Zoe comment on my blog. And that sucks. Because her comments would be the best by far. If Zoe Nelson was gay or a man, we'd probably be married. That's how cool she is. Zoe and I are the original inventors of the GAY OR NOT GAY game. Except the name was different in our art class (btw the teacher of that class, Miss Arthur...totally gay. You'd have to be gay to marry Bruce Guthrie.) I really should have credited her when I started incorporating the GAY OR NOT GAY game into my blog. So, Zoe Nelson, my apologies. You had me at hello.

Zoe Nelson...GAY OR NOT GAY?

I'll settle this one right now. She's not gay. Don't be fooled by the athleticism, liberal political views, and general awesomeness. She's straight. Correct me if I'm wrong, Zoe (which I never am).

Song of the day is the crazy romanian song. It's by OZONE. Zoe knows what the fuck I'm talking about.

slave4mylovestoned

I read in Sam the Casino Man's Entertainment Weekly that Justin Timberlake has agreed (at Timbaland's request) to make some music with Britney Spears once she gets out of rehab. Is anyone else totally excited for that? Or is it just me? I kind of think she's going to freak out and the whole thing will fall apart, though. Good old crazy Britney. America just can't get enough. (America Ferrera)

Does anyone who reads this listen to Elka and KC? Those bitches seriously need to step up to the plate. They haven't posted a new podcast in almost two weeks. Two. Weeks. Do they understand that people are ADDICTED to their podcast?!?! The only thing better than the L Word is listening to Kelka talk about the L Word. Actually, there are tons of things better than the L Word because the L Word is starting to suck balls. But there is REALLY nothing better than Kelka.

Alright. Because I was talking about her earlier...Pink...GAY OR NOT GAY?

And the song of the day issssss Welcome, Ghosts by Explosions in the Sky. But only if you like post rock. If you don't, then the song of the day is Nothing Came Out by The Moldy Peaches. Because I love Kimya Dawson's lyrics. And I heart the anti-folk movement like whoa.

How Lame Am I Right Now?

It's, like, 1:15 in the morning and I'm sitting in the parking lot of the Big Sky Inn picking up their wireless because I can't sleep and I'm in a blogging mood. Also I had to leave the house to go pick up some Zinc. I heard it prevents strep throat. And I think I'm getting strep throat. I'm probably just paranoid because Erin had it. My throat does hurt, though. I've never had strep throat but it sounds terrible. I don't even know why I'm worried. I have the best immune system EVER.

Check out Chaunte's blog. Chaunte sucks, for the most part. But she's hawt. And she lives in Maui. And she's a bitch. And she's hawt. And she cried on the last episode of Maui Fever. Maui Fever sucks. It should be called Maui Bullshit. I totally watched the two hour season finale though.

Oh man, I haven't even thought about the gay or not gay game today. Hmm...ok, I got one.
Clea Duvall...GAY OR NOT GAY?
The girl is like the biggest icon for lesbians in the whole world. But I heard somewhere that she's not gay. Is this true? Well, whatever, I don't buy it.

Song of the day is This Love by the Cocteau Twins. Just because I can't get it out of my head right now. And the Cocteau Twins are pretty fly.

I'm going back home now.

JUSTIN!!!

So Eyeshley and I just wrote an awesome song about our co-worker, Justin. It's called JUSTIN. You can download it on my music page. And please do so. It won't take much of your time because it's only about 10 seconds long and it will be the most awesome thing you've ever heard.

JUSTIN!!!!

Ok, I'm done with the self-promotion.

Justin. GAY OR NOT GAY? I say definitely not gay. Not last night, anyways. OHHHH!!!

Boredom and Bad Days

I just agreed to participate in this phone survey where this company is going to send me a tv show on DVD. I have to watch it on Monday the 19th and then answer questions about it on Tuesday the 20th. I don't know why I agreed to do this. Boredom, I guess.

I'm not in a very funny mood today. In other words, today's blog sucks. But whatevs'. You all love me so much that you'd rather hear from me in a bad mood than not hear from me at all, right?!? Did anyone happen to catch last week's episode of 30 Rock? How funny was that? Great show. I never thought I'd say this, but I love Alec Baldwin.

Chris Kattan (formerly) of Saturday Night Live...GAY OR NOT GAY? I heard he was engaged to a super model or something. Dude is so gay.

Song of the day is Dead Deer & Other Animals by Thanksgiving. Thanks to Erin for showing me Thanksgiving. Another K Punk Records band. Well Adrian Orange has his own record lable, but I'm pretty sure he was on K Punk at one point. I know he's in that circle...the Phil Elverum, Kyle Field, Calvin Johnson circle. I wish I was in that circle. That would be so cool. Music talk sucks and makes me sound pretentious. I'm not. Really. I get all my info from last.fm. And Wikipedia. And The Mt. Eerie Preservation Society. Speaking of Mt Eerie, I just bought the Microphones Live From Japan album and it's blowing me away.

Calvin Johnson and Classy Bidness Women

Again, I am posting when I have no time to post. I'm getting off work in like 10 minutes. All I have for you is this...

Queen Latifah...GAY OR NOT GAY? I say totally gay. Thanks to my mom for coming up with that one. My mom does not completely approve of the gay or not gay game. She says I shouldn't try to put people into boxes. Which, of course, I completely agree with. Labels are just fun sometimes.

Song of the Day: Lightin' Rod for Jesus by Calvin Johnson. I'm a little bit in love with Calvin Johnson, founder of K-Punk Records which has spawned such acts as The Blow, Mirah, The Microphones, Kimya Dawson, Little Wings, and Woelv. Some chick sings with Calvin Johnson on this song. I THINK it might be Mirah. But maybe not. Anyway she's fucking cool (the chick who sings on this song).

Erin and I went cavorting in Missoula last night. Well, actually, I didn't do much cavorting with Erin. We drove down there together but then got separated. I did, however, get to see my two favorite girls in the entire world, the South Dakomies (KelC Dz and Kate). I drove them to the Missoula airport this morning because they're flying to L.A. on business. Important classy business. Or, more like..."bidness".

Not Funny Enough

This has to be quick because right this very moment, I am supposed to be on my way to Katie Brady's house to watch THE REAL WORLD. We get together and watch The Real World once a week and sometimes Erin joins us. I don't know if I should be writing about this because it's totally embarrassing. The Real World sucks a lot. A lot a lot. But the reason I bring it up is because it's a segway into my feature.

Brooke from the The Real World...GAY OR NOT GAY?

And because I haven't had any dudes in my feature yet...

Giovanni Ribisi...GAY OR NOT GAY?

Did anyone see I Love Your Work? God, Giovanni Ribisi is tooootally hot.

It was recently brought to my attention that my blog needs to be funnier. Do you guys know how hard it is to be funny on the internet? It's like, a whole different story than being funny in real life. I'll work on it, though.

Well, the song of the day is...The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack by Liars.

I really need to get going now. Until next time...adios, muchachas.

Katie Brady pt.1

Ashley made a blog now, too. I don't even know if I should mention it because I doubt she wants to be an internet celebrity like Erin and I. And we all know that if I mention someone on my blog, they will instantly become a superstar just by being associated with me. Which brings me to my next topic.

Andrea Kathleen Brady.

A.K.A. Katie Brady.

I don't know if I should start talking about her now because I'm not quite famous yet. Just remember that name. Let it sink into your skulls.

All right...so, Whitney Houston. GAY OR NOT GAY?

I have no idea how the rumors that Whitney Houston is a lesbian even got started. I totally buy into it, though. I can see it. Uh, if you guys don't know this already, and I'm sure that none of you do because I'm not very vocal about it, I am a huge Whitney Houston fan. You better believe it. I think she's fabulous. She's a crazy bitch and I love every second of it.

The Song of the Day issssssss Sand (Eric's Trip) by The Microphones. Today's pick was kind of hard for me since I have been listening to NOTHING BUT THE BLOW for the past few days. I'm a huge Microphones fan, though, and I think that this song is more accessible than some of the other ones. My all time favorite Microphones song is "III. Universe", but it's kind of weird.

What it's Like to Have a Copycat

Oprah and Gayle. GAY OR NOT GAY?

I totally quit my job today. My boss actually took it really well. I guess I underestimate her. Well, Erin totally copied me and started her own blog. Her layout is better than mine but her words will never be as original. Plus she listens to weird music like Jaga Jazzist. Yuck.

In all seriousness, Erin is pretty cool. Probably one of the coolest people I know. She's a total Jenny sometimes but that's excusable. Let's hear it for L Word references, BTW!

My friend, Ashley, who is definitely going to be a recurring character in my blog, told me that the show Big Love has not been optioned for a second season. Can anyone tell me if this is true or not? I don't trust Ashley. She's from Texas. I could just look it up but I'm lazy. If it IS true then THAT SUCKS! It's my fourth favorite show of all time. The first three, in case you're curious, are as follows...

1. The L Word
2. The Office
   
3. Weeds

5 is The Sarah Silverman Program. And 6 is Lost. Lost was actually number 2 yesterday but then I realized that I'm sick of it and it lost some serious cred.

SONG OF THE DAY = By Your Side by CocoRosie. Mmm hmm. Just trust me.

The Job Situation

Nancy Pelosi. GAY OR NOT GAY?

Where my readers at?! I guess it's not so easy becoming an internet celebrity. Sigh.

So, I'm trying to quit my job but I keep wimping out. I work at a hotel, BTW. Front desk clerk. It's the easiest job in the world but I'm getting super bored. And, uh, my boss intimidates me. That's why I'm nervous about quitting. I guess I just need to grow a pair and do it. Tomorrow. I'll update you on what happens, my beautiful faithful readers.

So who's ready for the song of the day?

The Love That I Crave by The Blow.

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR AND FALL IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG. It's better if you're under the influence of something. But, you know, that's not totally necessary.

It All Started With the Gypsy Neighbors

I think you all need to know that I am living next to gypsies. Gypsies who feel it is absolutely necessary to leave their apartment every morning at 2:30 and talk on their cellphones very loudly right in front of my door for about half an hour. Also, I'm pretty sure there are like 8 people in their two bedroom apartment. And they seem to get great joy out of running up and down the steps outside of my apartment every five minutes or so.

I love them.

...PSYCH!

("Psych" is my new word. I'm bringin' it back like cracker jacks.)

As a part of my new-found blogging spirit, I am going to install a "Song of the Day Feature". And for now, you can comment and I will send you the song if you don't already have it. Is that super illegal? Hmm. Maybe we should just pretend that I'm not serious about it. After I have a million fans who read my blog, I'll have to stop doing it anyway. I don't have that kind of time on my hands!

TODAY'S SONG OF THE DAY:
Keep it Together by Aqueduct.

To tell you the truth, I just really like David Terry's use of the word "bitch". It makes him seem like a gay man. IS he gay? I'm going to look that up real quick. I just spent about 20 seconds trying to look that up and it was taking way too long so I gave up. I kind of doubt he's gay, though. I just came up with a super cool new theme for my blog. It will be called "GAY OR NOT GAY". Like, Tom Cruise is totally gay. And Portia De Rossi is totally straight. Yeah, I said it. What?

Okay, here's how the new game works. I will name a random celebrity and you (all two of you) will comment about whether or not you think they are gay. Or straight. Or bisexual. Or bi-curious.

Gael Garcia Bernal. GAY OR NOT GAY?

Yeah, I know he's dating Natalie Portman, but frankly, I question her sexual orientation also. She's too hot to be straight, yaknawmean?

New at this.

Well, World, here I am.
This is my first blog.
I guess, TECHNICALLY, not my first blog.
I have a myspace blog.
I also have a livejournal. Actually, I have two livejournals.
But do those really count? I mean, really?
I didn't think so.
Oh, great! Now the bold won't turn off. What a terrible set-up they have here at blogger.com.
I'm assuming you're all reading this because you're huge fans of my work and want to stalk me. I welcome stalkers. They make me feel important. Creeped out, yes, but creeped out in an important way.

Things you absolutely need to know about me:

1. I play the guitar (where did the bold go?!), therefore I am cool.
   

And that's it!

Until next time, muchachas y muchachos, adios!